The Universal Solution
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: Honoka, Kotori, and Umi are stormed in during the second year field trip to Okinawa. How do they cope? (An alternate take of season 2 episode 5.)


The sound of thunder rippled through the morning air, rain falling in sheets from the darkened sky as the typhoon fell over the island of Okinawa. From the window of her hotel room, Honoka sighed. This was their once-in-a-lifetime school field trip, and they had to spend it trapped inside their room. They didn't even have a TV. What were they supposed to do while mother nature ravaged the outdoors?

From the small table in the center of the room, Umi let out a cry of despair as Kotori plucked a card from her hand, finishing their game of Old Maid. It ended just like Honoka had known it would. After all, she'd only seen the exact same scene play out over a dozen times ever since they broke out the cards.

Cheeks puffing in frustration at the indignity of it all, Honoka went over to her friends and slammed her hands down on the table.

"What are we going to do about this storm?" she demanded.

Umi raised an eyebrow. "Honoka, there's nothing we _can_ do. You can't fight a typhoon."

"Umi-chan's right," agreed Kotori, "It's better to let mother nature run her course and wait it out in here, where it's warm and safe."

"But waiting in here is so boring!" cried Honoka, "We're just doing the same thing over and over again, and it's driving me mad!"

"On the contrary. I find our games of Old Maid to be quite riveting," stated Umi. "Don't you?"

"Seeing as you always lose, no," replied Honoka mercilessly.

"Hey!"

"Well, Honoka-chan," interjected Kotori, "Did you have something else in mind then?"

The ginger leaned back, arms crossed as she made a face of concentration. "Well... we could always have sex."

"Honoka!" exclaimed Umi as her cheeks began flushing, "Stop suggesting that as a solution for all our problems!"

"What do you mean _ALL_ our problems?" replied Honoka, insulted. "I don't suggest it that often!"

"Ah, actually, Umi-chan has a point, Honoka-chan..."

"Kotori-chan?! You too?!"

The blunette frowned. "Mou, Honoka! If you've really forgotten, then let's think back to some of our earlier trials from last season, shall we?"

* * *

 _"Our school is closing down... What should we do?" lamented Kotori._

 _"Well... we could always have sex."_

 _._

 _"Look, I agree that we can't go around calling ourselves 'Otonokizaka School Idol Group', but we really don't have an alternative at this point," pointed out Umi. "How are we going to pick a name for ourselves?"_

 _"Well... we could always have sex._

 _._

 _"How are we going to get Umi-chan to overcome her shyness in time for our concert?" pondered Kotori._

 _"Well... we could always have sex."_

 _._

 _"You expect us to run up and down the stairs of this shrine every day?!" exclaimed Honoka._

 _"Yes," replied Umi sternly. "Unless you have any better ideas for building your stamina?"_

 _"Well... we could always have sex."_

 _._

 _"In a few hours, Kotori is going to be leaving Japan to study abroad, and we won't see her again for the next several years," said Umi. " So, Honoka... how are you going to stop her?"_

 _"Well... we could always have sex."_

* * *

"That last one might have worked..." mumbled the brunette quietly.

"Why do you insist on perpetuating this punchline?!" demanded Umi.

"What punchline?!" exclaimed Honoka, "Is it really so wrong of me to want to express my unbridled love for the two of you in the most intimate way I can think of?!"

"Honoka-chan...!" swooned Kotori.

"And what about the possible consequences?" retorted the blunette, effortlessly resisting Honoka's charm.

"Eh? Consequences?" asked Honoka cluelessly.

"Honoka, there are all kinds of consequences when it comes to sex!" scolded Umi.

"Really? Like what?"

"Like...! Like... Like the kind that are too shameless for me to talk about!"

"What Umi-chan means is she doesn't want any of us getting any bad diseases, or getting pregnant," supplied Kotori.

"Huh." Honoka put a hand on her chin as she gazed off thoughtfully into space. "Well... we've all never done it before, so I think we're good on not getting diseases," she mused. She nodded as an idea formed in her head and she pulled out her phone. "Then for the rest I'll just ask Siri-san!" She cleared her throat. "Siri-san, can two girls get pregnant by doing the sex?"

"Honoka!" cried Umi. "That's highly inappropriate!"

"Oh, you're right. I'm sorry," said Honoka, "Siri-san, can _three_ girls get pregnant by doing the sex?"

"Honoka-chan, let's not bother Siri-san with our problems," intervened Kotori, chuckling sheepishly.

Umi was about to blow a fuse when suddenly, the door to their room opened and one of the chaperones peeked her head in.

"Excuse me, but I have some bad news. Because of the typhoon, our flight's been cancelled, so the earliest we can get back to Otonokizaka is next week." Her news delivered, the chaperone retreated, the door slamming shut.

Honoka, Kotori, and Umi exchanged glances, the silence broken only by the raging typhoon outside.

They ended up having sex.

 **~END~**

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 **Omake:**

"Wait a minute," said Umi, furrowing her brow. "Honoka, it's practically a proven fact that you can stop rain and summon sunshine at the drop of a hat. Why didn't you just use that power of yours to make the rain go away?"

The ginger froze. "...Because I wanted to have sex?" she replied sheepishly.

"You thirsty little minx!" cried the blunette as she broke out the handcuffs.

"Oh yes! Punish me more, Umi-chan!"

Kotori made sure to start recording on their camcorder before jumping in herself, riding crop held high in one hand and a two-gallon bottle of lube in the other.

It was the kinkiest weekend of their young lives.


End file.
